By thesecretwalldiary on Sunday, March 16th, 2014
i just want the beach, and to dance, and fun and some drinks and some sunsets and nice breeze and new people and beautiful places. i just want the good things. i don’t want to apologize for it, i just want the good things right now, i can’t wait much longer to see how beautiful it could be. my body is moving and i just need the music right now. dancing barefoot on sand. waves. skirts and writing and sand in my notebook. cold showers. coconuts, mango, lime. feeling young. being utterly loose, mad, carried away. that’s what i want. i want to let it al-
i guess i just want to let go.
By thesecretwalldiary on Sunday, December 1st, 2013
Talk about entitlement? You’re entitled. I will make you feel like the only one on earth. And I see nothing wrong in that. People.deserve special treatment, even if they’re assholes (like you). Cheers, mate. Cheers to that motherfucked house. Cheers to you. Cheers to your best friend who, contrary to what you think, still broke your beloved “bros over hoes” slogan for me. (Two of them, actually. I feel bad for you, a twinge of guilt, but not much, considering the things you said to me.) Cheers to me. Cheers to the 300~~ people who wanted to hang out with me. Cheers to me being special, sociable, beautiful, caring, loving to everyone around me, especially the ones who love me most. Cheers to me not taking people for granted. Cheers to me and my grades this term. Cheers to me being better than this, wanting to type this, hammered, at 3:30 am. Cheers to me for loving so hard no matter what, always giving chances, even to you again if you’d want. Cheers to my face and my faith and my inner cat and my other cat that doesn’t trust easily or open up to people. Cheers to generosity. Cheers to believing in myself and learning to stop believing in someone who doesn’t exist anymore.
By thesecretwalldiary on Monday, October 21st, 2013
There really is no need to be sad when you have understood. It’s just about making peace with your understanding. Another thing I learnt is the difference between understanding and hearing something beautiful and wise and wanting to understand and accept it. Very often, those are the temporary learnings you lean on when you’re troubled, but you grasp at them like they’re gigantic spheres of goodness and wisdom, and try to consume them whole, when you should instead sit down, wait for them to descend on your madness and your whirling thoughts, and let them be conquered gently, one at a time.